Yesterday was a day of 2 halves.
I am writing this, perching on the seawall, courtesy of hubby helping me up.I knew when I first met him, falling in love with a bodybuilder would have its advantages. With my back against a pillar and the sun shining I feel happy.
He has gone for a stroll and my daughter has gone shell/pebble hunting. I have my book and I amazed the pledge has worked this week. We all feel better.
Fast forward to 2pm
I have crawled to bed dosed up with Tramadol which is having minimal effect. I am up to my limit on meds so I have no choice other than curl up in a darkened room with sunglasses on and try to sleep in the hope it will encourage my muscles to relax and stop fighting each other. After updating status on Facebook earlier with smiles, this is the side of my life friends don’t see. The payback from an earlier outing. The pain and tears. Fellow spoonie friends expect it and understand but others don’t see what invisible conditions do. It is not their fault as I tend to hide away and keep schtum (after all I get bored with it so imagine what they would feel). Admitting payback makes me feel like a failure as it is proof I can’t do what they can but it highlights that Facebook statuses do not tell the whole story. If I can only show the highs of my life with the occasional rant over broken appliances how many other people on my friends list (spoonies or not) doing the same, hiding the pain, heartache and troubles away when all they need is a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Hiding away at moments when they really need a friend.
Hugs to all x